The Cult of the lonely boy in The Red Balloon (1956)

*contains spoilers and more

The Red Balloon is a short film running a little over a half an hour which was made in France. It is one of the first colour short films to be awarded a prize and showered in gifts… Yes, I am a bit jealous as I never won an award in my life and was constantly disappointed every time they were handed out at the sports clubs and in high school …. Loser! (Each of us got a gold or silver medal for playing in the team anyway just like an Olympic athlete at Primary School). I won a meat tray at a pub once…

However, this little French boy dealt his beret before his suit and tie and then back again… this little ‘Tintin’ in the making has the memories of our red and white striped soccer team at Primary School where the mixture of ring and non-ringed willies freely mixed and played as our parents picked us up and took us home without the humiliation of a change-room … while later we changed in the boys’ bathroom after school for practice without the need to remove our undies… that was after hours since during school lunchtime there were some remarkable prostates which could pee over green toilet doors in the boy’s toilets like an episode of Round the Twist … Yes, and some twisted their willies to show off the y or v done to a t underneath as they peed at the urinal. Some of us knew the others vital stats anyway not that it ever mattered to me…. I knew the secrets of the bullies by the time I was at Seacliff Primary… and aged ten years old.

The Red Balloon (1956)… up in the sky!
I was dealt a beret and not a beanie outside Glenelg Community
And grew up wanting to be a journalist like Tintin
Tintin creator Herge alongside an actor who once played him in France. I devoured every Tintin book aged nine and my grandfather showered me with the books when I asked for certain titles for Xmas… and I always wondered why the one set in Africa and Soviet Russia were long suppressed in Australia when they were freely available in a Normandy supermarket when he went shopping while on holiday… the week Kurt Cobain killed himself.
Jules Verne also ‘wrote’ a short story entitled A journal of a journalist In the Year 2889. Or did he? It was not translated when I tried to track it down decades ago
UP, up and away… with TAA the friendly, friendly way….

Boys would form clean rings around other boys and it doesn’t matter what is kept underneath their underwear. I remember my best friend Carl who was the goalie at Seacliff, and a good one, and I wore the same kind of purple polyester undies from the bulk packet from the supermarket despite our mother’s differing view on what should be our vital stat should be as babies. Carl was born in Sydney and his three brothers Darwin and perhaps Adelaide… they were all the same as the youngest named Brendan would wander round the house with his red or purple ‘Scivvy’ on upside down with his legs through the sleeves at five or six years old showing off his perfect foreskin through the skivvy neck… Nothing wrong with having a perfect foreskin. His brother Rohan used to stretch his Celtic coloured skin at nine or ten and show his foreskin proudly off to his mother as he posed for her on his lower bunk bed like a potential lover as she chased him round the bedroom to put his clothes or pyjamas on … A great band of brothers the Hollands. I remember seeing our school’s soccer champion Gary stare at himself naked in their bathroom mirror in pure statuesque sensuality as I walked past the bathroom to go and take a pee in their perfectly clean toilet. He reminded me of the sainted Italian boy who dies in Once Upon a Time in America as he glances at his own reflection.

Aussie ad for something international
Survival of the Fittest: or I will survive. Will I?
What’s that thing?! British movie The Yellow Balloon (1953) … A poor little boy named Frankie Turner (!) faces blackmail amongst a criminal element for knowing something he shouldn’t
The excellent Iranian movie The White Balloon (1995)
Danny Deckchair (2003) is an Australian produced movie

Their mother was a sad looking German woman named Renata whose family faced the reality of Nazi Germany and she made jigsaw puzzles and named the family dog Heidi. I would talk to her sometimes and eat ritually with the family when I stayed the night. Such was community in the Southern suburbs of South Australia back in the late 1970s. Theirs was a house of games and puzzles and not tv and music when I was there. Boys would be left to their own devices even if it meant throwing stones or rocks at each other in the magnificent crawlspace below their European modern-designed and air conditioned and ducted house… with tiles of ‘Heuga’ carpet and a safety designed family Volvo for a car… I never was stigmatised for being a Yellow Star boy as I was one of the boys… even our undies matched! Such was my freemasonry among boys both cut and uncut.

Back to The Red Balloon and upon my initiation into the heart of the country in Alice aged four years old on the Ghan I was then sent to Old Reynella Primary unbeknownst to me there were other boys on the planet which had a ring willy like me – I thought I was the only one for some reason or it didn’t even come to mind. I was a boy with two younger sisters and had never seen another boy naked in the bathtub…

Multicultural Australia began with multicultural America
Australia’s John Waters appears in a groovy episode of Play School
Lady Cilento’s daughter produced Sean Connery’s son Jason who went on to star with his mother in the Queensland made movie The Boy who had Everything (1984) set around Sydney University… Jason directed the movie about Scotland being the founders of golf in Tommy’s Honour/Honor (2016) – Remember the U is all about YOU!
My mum chose to not have her son in a “poxy flat in Wandsworth” like in Ken Loach’s Poor Cow (1974) with her infant son walking around naked… ‘Poor Kes!’ … and chose the initiation in Glenelg. She wore a mini-skirt while she was pregnant upon returning to Oz by ship heavily pregnant. I was nearly born in Tunisia… The time Mr. Wolf is 6.15pm and daddy is home from work or it’s the weekend as he takes a picture in their Pier Street flat at Glenelg. Or was it my grandfather…

With the lessons of The Electric Company and Sesame Street part of my life … they showed on Play School one day a boy taking a bath with his two sisters and he had a ring willy – this was before everything had to be covered up due to the shame of those Rock Hudson spiders which preyed on the internet and the red balloon carrying John Wayne Gacy of It fame. Yes, it was natural to have a ring willy and take a bath with your sisters since they even showed it on television in black and white… and that boy like me probably discovered aged five that rubbing his stiffy and glans against the sheets like a dog felt good and was natural. I thought that’s what men to do women… I seemed to have an idea!

Before we moved up into a middle-class ‘hood’ I was brought up in lower middle-class O-Halloran Hill which was new suburbia behind a BP station on Main South Road.

There was an almond orchard or grove which was like Narnia beyond the barbed wire fence at the top or our large sloping block where nature and I formed together from age six and I became an ingenious child who dreamed and walked alone… with God and nature. You’ll never walk alone. It’s true! The almonds in that grove were left to drop on the ground and I used to love picking and choosing the ones from the seasons past which were still ripe to crack and eat raw. Leave the green sleeved ones for later. Some of the almonds were well beyond their use by date but you knew instinctively as a hunter and collector which were good to eat. Even the yellow crested cockatoos would sit in the base of the trees and in them and feast occasionally… I swear one said hello back to me one day! It was the perfect place for a child to grow and wander after his initiation in Alice… One two three, Jesus loves me… and then you are free!

I had been to the movies and seen television but I was uninitiated as to the theory behind the magic lantern from which began it all began – and that was the movie or film projector hidden from view in cinemas like the willies of other boys – and they had a 16mm one which the Old Reynella school owned – every well stocked school had one under the aegis of Premier Don Dunstan… and that Socialist Liberal Premier Thomas Playford… We drank milk for free for a couple of years when lactose intolerance wasn’t an issue… at recess time which was delivered to classrooms. Such was South Australia in the southern suburbs and the masses of boys given scissor dicks in Adelaide…

Follow the leader… who will you vote for next election?
Socialist Liberal Premier Tom Playford’s state owned electricity trust was sold off later by his own party…
The beloved Tom Playford… Many an Adelaide boy was named Tom after him and given an angel bris
Do we understand each other? Labor Prime Minister Ben Chifley (1945-49) on the left with Tom Playford in the centre.
Labor reformer and Premier Don Dunstan was a colourful character elected in 1967 and born in Fiji who abolished the death penalty. He had Cornish roots and toasted with champagne on the beach at Glenelg as crowds celebrated a predicted tidal wave would destroy the suburb as predicted by psychic John Nash… I spoked to him just before he died and he was writing a book called living with cancer and he said: “I’d rather not live with cancer.”
Don Dunstan was a famous bisexual who wore pink shorts to parliament and caused a scandal. His Asian wife Adele Koh was beloved in Adelaide and died tragically young of cancer. Yellow fever!
All is not lost on your snotty purple sleeve

The north of Adelaide and its poverty- stricken British immigrant suburb where Jimmy Barnes grew up was another story. Like Hugh Jackman who was the son of British immigrants often those boys born in Oz were left uncut just like their fathers. I knew boys born in England in 1967 with savvy mothers who migrated to the southern suburbs. Joseph and Saul being two brothers I knew.

One of the first movies they showed on the projector at school when I was about six was The Red Balloon. I was already familiar with the book which had been produced with photographs in the library but I was blown away by this movie about a solitary dreamer of a boy who was followed around by a red balloon and how they formed a friendship… I was that little boy I thought even though I had no idea about Paris and the horrors of World War Two… Such was the magic of movies at that age while mum would take us to the cinema to see reruns of Bambi and Dumbo through to the Fox and the Hound. I still hadn’t recognised the power of the projector as I fell in love with movies at school with the entire classroom …

Then the next week or month they showed an episode of Ask the Leyland Brothers as they travelled all over the countryside… Not as good as The Red Balloon but it was my inattention to that short film/movie which showed there was a lantern for this young genie of a child to understand that it was all an illusion. May rings of fairies surround your child on their mobile phones forever and ever until… There appeared to be a reel of film spinning endlessly on a spool and through a gate which produced Mike and Mal and their wives onscreen while there was something that caused the sound to also happen through the speaker in synchronisation. It was a magnetic strip of some sort… My Pa had a magic lantern in terms of a slide machine and he would show he the magic that once was Kodak slides…

On Our Selection (1995)
Ken G. Hall told me that South African born Cecil Kellaway was Jewish or something which kind of made It Isn’t Done (1937) some sort of early in-joke. Try and track down his book the inside story.
Ken Hall was probably the first Aussie director to win an Oscar for his Aussie works
A scene from the first all-talking and all-singing Aussie musical Showgirl’s Luck (1931)
The Magic Lantern beyond the Balinese puppet shows behind the screen… see the doco on Charles Chaplin and de Niro in the opium den in Once UPon a Time in America.
16mm magic lantern
Soldiers of the Cross is considered to be the first kind of slide show or cinema ever experienced on Earth. It was produced by the Salvation Army in Oz in 1900 and a magic lantern was used to show slides between live performances by human beings.
Steele Rudd was forgotten…
Poor Arthur was forgotten in the end and buried in a pauper’s grave at Toowong cemetery
Real life brother and sister: My sister is a Liberal while I am a socialist… all under a red white and blue flag
Not a good neighbourhood or community. Things still disappear from the unit building which rings the former Bora-ring where Hazel told me an Indigenous massacre occurred. Atonement!

I remember when I spoke at length alone with Ken G. Hall (1901-94), who was that great Australian director and creator of Cinesound Studios and he told me about the time in Sydney, Australia back around 1929 and 1930 when he and his mate were mucking around in their laboratory trying to create sound on film in Australia without having to resort to buying the patented stuff from America… and then one day his mate said: “I think we’ve got sound on film!”

And so, On Our Selection (1930/2) was made according to Hall… There was an early sound musical around this time named Showgirl’s Luck (1931) which came out earlier.

On Our Selection was based on the novel and the many, many follow-up books by Queenslander Steele Rudd (1868-1935) who died a pauper and lived in an unmarked grave before a modest one was erected in Toowong Cemetery by his fans. I found it there once where it was overgrown with weeds as an invalid who dreamed vainly to be published and I removed the weeds and wondered if the previous winners in Queensland of the prestigious Steele Rudd writing awards had ever paid homage… loser of a writer and ‘wanker’ that I was.

How lucky was I to hear about sound on film in Australian from Ken Hall!? Anyway, On Our Selection premiered in Brisbane… the home capital of Dad and Dave before it hit Sydney. The 1995 remake which features Dame Joan Sutherland as Mother and Toowoomba boy Geoffrey Rush as Dave is worth a look and has a great score by Aussie musical Icon John Williamson. He of Old Man Emu fame…

Glory, glory…. I’ll be back to see the Storey Bridge (1971)… Johnny Chester sings the classic song
“I circumcised ya” said the small town doctor played by Robert Duvall to John Travolta and the boys in Phenomenon (1996)
I simply assumed my European friends were uncircumcised… It didn’t matter to me!

But I’m tripping on the foundations of the socialist state of Queensland before gerrymanders and corruption took hold. I was once a little boy dressed as an artist at Old Reynella Primary who was led in line with another boy in our undies to have our testicles checked. His name Todd and he wore undies that looked like a rainbow of paisley and the women pulled the front of our jocks open together as we stood side by side so they could check that both our testicles had descended – poor Adolf Hitler only had one ball – I looked to the right without coughing – like the small-town doctor in Arachnophobia (1990) Spiders again! – and curiously glanced at Todd’s willy… Guess what? It looked exactly the same size and shape as mine… I’m guessing the two English boys in my class were put together due to their vital stats or were dismissed from having the examination due to their parents not giving permission for the operation to go ahead to check for and undescended testicle… or perhaps a ring willy boy was shown that there was such a thing as an uncircumcised penis… such became the pee-nut/peanut and investigation of ring willies as a vital statistic and keeping the numbers in my head in terms of vital statistics cut or not. Just another hobby.

The first episode of Ask the Leyland Brothers…
I lived behind the almond grove behind this BP station in O’Halloran Hill
Andrew said his father was born on this Island possibly during World War Two
Raymond Chandler wrote of a tarantula on Angel Food Cake… Andew’s mum baked delicious angel cakes for his birthday with chocolate crackles and honey cakes made from Kellogg’s ingredients also laid on heavily…
Heaven is a sunshine secret…. Normie’s young son, who was his pride and joy, was killed by a car as he was riding his bicycle on the street

The poor Poms as they were dismissed back in the day for being ‘different’ when really some were not… Later at my next area school named Braeview Primary, my English friend Andrew was teased without mercy by the school bully for having a Pommie Dick/uncut one. It was a form of terrorism. So? What I thought! My father was a Pom too and obviously had a full foreskin!! Andrew’s father was named Gordon and worked for BP and drove a British army car and was born in Malta or some island in the Mediterranean during World War Two. He with his wife Pat lived around the corner. She would be called a nerdy type these days with glasses as she probably read and baked angel cakes full of cream for Andrew and all his friends when it was his birthday on September 30… some things you don’t forget as Andrew and I had an affinity of having an English background. If you survived Andrew, I hope you and your brother Scott are okay and had families of your own unafraid of Paul ‘Long’ the bully who was not invited to Andrew’s birthday party… Yes, Paul let me feel his ‘thing’ one night beside him as he then accused me of having a Pommie dick … “I’m not playing anymore!” I said and rolled over and went to sleep in my sleeping bag as I kept my button mushroom to himself. It was odd but I didn’t wet the bed that night…

The Greeks assimilated in Melbourne pretty well…
Glenelg Tigers won five premierships in its existence and changed from a v to a sash… He’ll never win a sash said some men dressed in blue in Ashgrove a few weeks ago… Glenelg was more of a social club.
A lifelong Tiger who watched them lose endlessly to Port Adelaide in the SANFL and I had to work both days they won back to back premierships… Poor Peter Carey was run ragged when they lost to North the following year. I went to the same high school with Chris McDermott in the middle row and his best friend was Carlton player Stephen Kernahan… probably both born at Glenelg hospital. Stephen’s uncle was a great court reporter and local News Limited legend…
I moved away from O’Halloran Hill and rang Andrew during his birthday party the following year. He remembered me as his mother kept the place rocking for the celebration…

Another friend was a Greek boy Nick who the bully nicknamed “Wog” but we still were all a kind of ring or circle of friends. Nick was very Greek and a lovely boy who invited me and many others – not the school bully – to his birthday party in his backyard with all the Greek relatives standing around as I pushed another friend Chris, the son of a policeman who would also become a policeman. Nick kept his vital statistic hidden and we never really wondered what it was as I pushed Chris on a small tricycle into a pool of sewage around the septic tank in the possibly funny result that he would fall into the pool of smelly shit for being so foolish… What balance! He never fell after several attempts and then we came to our senses and called it quits. Chris and Nick and his family I salute you…

Such were the freemasonry and rings of boys in O’Halloran Hill… I remember the school bully whose best friend wore a Glenelg jersey but was one of a family of boys from Britain said: “We’re going to James’ house and everyone is going to take their clothes off and walk around naked” and I said worriedly since there were going to be girls there: “What if you get a stiffy?” There was no real answer and the event never took place. But I was invited to James’ house with Paul as though where a ring made of me beside the house and his older brother aged 13 from high school came home and stood beside and pulled out his dick and began to urinate… It was the first time I had seen a perfectly formed and un-stretched white foreskin or ‘milk bottle’ willy and I didn’t flinch or complain as some urine splashed on my bare right leg as I was wearing my Bart Simpson or French boy shorts… Yes, it looked rather beautiful as it was not too white and not a Celtic brown as the foreskin formed itself in a perfect little pucker at the end for the urine to stream through… I bet his mother adored it! What more could a boy ask for in terms of his own initiation? So that’s what they looked like… Poor Andrew was being victimised for no reason except for not being cool enough to be one of the boys… as his own family kept him close to home in their own circle of love… Wandering the streets of O’Halloran Hill and you’d see some sights when I was a child. And learn decent moral lessons about your own morality as you developed your own natural moral compass.

Garden of Allah: Pave paradise put up a parking lot… Braeview will celebrate its fiftieth someday soon…
There was a rivalry between the kids at Old Reynella who took the Premier bus to the south: “You bloody Don Dunstans!” and those who took the after-school Briscoe’s bus north back to O’Halloran Hill. “Bloody biscuit eaters!” we’d cry out to each other as the crowds of kids stood on opposite sides of the road… It was a friendly game of brinkmanship.
The cornerstone building of the Old Reynella school where I won 10 cents for dressing up very badly as a soldier in blue shirt and tie tucked into ill-fitting trousers. It was the sympathy vote and the kids still applauded this six or seven year old as they all sat cross legged on the floor like little aborigines that lunchtime in a dress up competition run by the grade seven girls.

Then everything seemed to have turned Nazi in this country in terms of too many foreskins taking their hatred out on those who were ring willies. It was revenge for the poor Poms and other uncircumcised immigrants who fought with us and other Allies against that one ball Hitler. The horror of schizophrenia and the persecution… through the glass key of a neighbour’s window seemed endless. This whole cycle or ring is perhaps now broken along with the broken hearts of those who died and survived. Perhaps not in Geelong Grammar in Victoria where Prince Charles was educated. Who knows as I wasn’t ‘privately-educated’ as I learned about life on the streets in lower middle class semi-rural South Australian suburbia before our family moved to middle class Brighton beside the train line with “a patch of grass” as Richard Carlson dreamed of for his son in The Magnetic Monster (1952). Thank God for a patch of grass and Richard Carlson! God bless you. Now I had a life on the beach from the age of ten years onwards at Seacliff Primary.

The Best Actor at Cannes this year for playing Taurean star sign Martin Bryant (1967-) in Mitram (2021) was Texan born Caleb Landry Jones (1989-) while it was the South Australian born director Justin Kurzel (1974-) who found an affinity to create something which has yet to be ‘celebrated’ here about the horrific Sound of Music fan who killed dozens of people… among his other activities. Kurzel looked at Snowtown (2011) which I touched on in the article about Canadian-born South Australian horror director Ursula Dobrowsky. And to think I wrote a black comedy novella about the link between the cinema where I lived and the Family killings! Unpublishable!! Kurzel also warned us that searching for an apple in all the wrong places can waste your life… with the film version of Assassin’s Creed (2016) before tackling the real story of Ned Kelly who we knew since we read children’s books about him as kids was really an Irish immigrant’s child who was a natural at 12 when he saved a drowning boy or man in a river or billabong but who was driven to crime by circumstance… Peter Carey bored us with the book from his New York apartment and has been boring us since he wrote Oscar and Lucinda… How I loved ‘Illywacher’, if that’s how you spell it!! Poor Peter was driven to become some sort of poet after being showered with awards and possibly even the Nobel…

Celtic Aussie Ned Kelly saved a friend or stranger named Richard Shelton from drowning when he was only 12 years old and then he was driven to become a legendary criminal. “Such is life”!!
Ned’s skull was kept for posterity… To be or not to be or TB or not TB! Most of the kids from my generation have a TB scar… Get vaccinated!!
What’s your multicultural hood like?

Really, David Ireland and Gerald Murnane are the real men as Murnane’s Tamarisk Row set in the late 1930s in Melbourne spoke of a circumcised middle-class boy shocked to see poverty in that city where a baby cried in a broken-down house with smegma pouring from his foreskin … It’s a great book among Murnane’s canon and he has retired to a country pub where he forgets Melbourne and forgets its former self… My friend and mentor Bill Murray from the great Melbourne Truth where he was sub-editor was born in poverty in Melbourne in the 1930s and lived with his family in a house with a dirt floor or so he told me. He died of lung cancer and remains etched in my mind as a great man who sent me a Christmas card with a drunken note scrawled on the back of an envelope inserted into it as he wrote of the artists and writers that existed throughout the world … We got drunk and talked about how Lenny Lower apparently tripped after a throat cancer operation and fell into the gutter ripping open the stitches and bleeding to death. He was probably drunk! Here’s Luck is a great Australian novel!! I loved that man and he died a day after receiving my Christmas card which his son read to him and which I always signed “love Jason” … Bill was a true believer who believed in journalism and worked more or less until the day he died which was less than a week after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The legend of Lenny Lower passed on from one generation to the next! Thank God I quit cigarettes. Thank you, Mr Benson and Hedges for ruining my lungs… Not!

Spanish Caravan by The Doors
I was brought up on the beach and in a caravan
Legendary Aussie journalist Lennie Lower
What does Superman do if his tool needs attention? He goes to Lower’s/Lois Lane!
Nothing like a good French movie!

The Red Balloon was directed by Albert Lamorisse (1922-70 helicopter crash) and it starred his son Pascal and daughter Sabine and is set in the once predominantly working-class inner-city Paris neighbourhood of Menilmontant as it warns us of the difference between following our dreams as opposed to being a social climber. It was the same neighbourhood where actor and singer Maurice Chevalier (1888-1972 after depression and suicide attempt) and his brothers grew up after his father left his mother when he was twelve. Yes, his song from Gigi (1958), Thank Heaven for Little Girls is a bit of a worry… The great animated movie The Triplets of Belleville (2003) with its many different titles was also set there. Microcosm and melting pot such suburbs can be in cities around the world. The hood.

The Red Balloon with its ‘hooded’ children seems to have influenced the nightmares of Nic Roeg’s Walkabout (1970) follow-up (oh, the horror of Luc Roeg’s lily-white foreskin being revealed at the end of his large penis as it seemed to cause Gulpilil and John Meillon to suicide in the beginning and at the end of the movie!)  – Don’t Look Now (1973) and Canadian movie The Brood (1978) in terms of lost innocence. Don’t Look Now should have been called Avert Your Eyes as I wished they’d taken pictures of me at that age in all my cut knob glory as I splashed into a billabong or something… I had wanted to be a movie star and show off my knob but I got a stiffy or priapi/priapism all the time which took away my self-confidence and ruined by career… little did I know it was natural among boys as me and my friend Flynn played willy wars as kids without self-consciousness. At least the young aboriginal boys as well as myself and my friend in the tent we were dealt that night In the Garden of Allah weren’t ashamed of our ‘priapy’ or priapism… It was a private initiation to sort the future buggers out… My priapi/y happened but for some reason it became a sense of shame to show it in the change rooms at school in case they thought I was a poofter, since whenever I took my clothes off in front of another human being it would happen… male or female! Paranoia set in as me and Scott and Paul who were the Three Amigos bucked the system and wore undies in the changeroom showers just like the Nazi youth did in Europa Europe… it saved little Solly’s life!…

Remember the names of Mo and Stiffy? Another Aussie legend! I wrote an article. One ring willy and another not who worked side by side as friends and actors.

There’s going to be a party all over the world… Forever and ever. Amen!!!! In Gay Pareee…
Stay! A boy and his balloon… The Red Balloon (1956) poster… I love Paris… and London and Los Angeles
David Gulpulil was circumcised as a part of his initiation as a boy and has helped do the same for other boys of his own tribe. At fourteen he was chosen as the most masculine and beautiful warrior to appear in Walkabout (1970). A moral compass is needed.
The horror of the neighbourhood in The Brood (1979). A boy in central Canada had to have sexual reassignment due to a botched circumcision in the 1960s which saw the operation fall out of favour. Something similar happened in Sydney too due to an infection at a Catholic hospital and uncaring nurses failing to change the gauze. A simple Plastibel is used safely and I have seen a baby Muslim boy ‘done’ in Britain on his doctor’s desk without even breaking into tears as his proud parents watched after the doc first applied a painkilling gel. Celebrate the occasion as if you were your own paparazzi!
At seventeen, me and my best friend Flynn who was a News Limited boy born at Glenelg went with our fathers to Hong Kong as a gift for passing my Year 12 exams and an initiation of South East Asia – we also saw Penang and the bridge across to Butterworth, as well as the Macau casinos (we were underage… shh) and then had lunch in China!! We saw Jonathon Coleman who recently died in the lift of the hotel we stayed in at Hong Kong. I mean the door opened and he entered. As boys we showered separately at his parents place (they had an ensuite) in the Adelaide Hills and then we met with our towels around us in the shag carpet lounge room with a pot belly stove and opened the front of our towels with both our hands as we then proceeded to have a willy war. Yes I hear that dolphins do it too!!
This Vlad the Impaler doesn’t look too Happy!! A drawing by my ten or eleven year old nephew years ago. At eight he saw his friend Sam’s angel bris … and as a boy dealt The Horses my nephew told his mother: “I want one like that” to which she replied: “It might hurt darl…. anyway you’re one of the boys” … I nearly interjected that for boys under twelve the operation is simple but it was taboo to mention years ago…. This horrific drawing by Luca shows the terror of being done as a baby by a plastibel… The 21 year old laughed and said: “I was a pretty good drawer back then”. He and Sam will forever be pee nuts.

But that was me rolling around in the tall dewy green grass early one morning aged twelve again in the land of milk and honey… Luc Roeg’s father captured his glory for the world to see as well as himself to admire in retrospect. It’s a shame it all went underground… But now perhaps without the worry of IT, boys can take their own photos of themselves at that age and save them for themselves and for no one but themselves and their family and inner circle – jerks and all. Keep them to show when your thirty, I bet your girlfriend or boyfriend would have a laugh… Meanwhile Christian families need not get their films processed at a store as they perform their own secret business in terms of ‘who’s the photographer’…

Like a big sombrero…. Me, Paul and Scott… I share a birthday with Canadian Martin Short

It became so shameful to be proud of your penis or your son’s penis at a young age since I thought mine was the prettiest of the lot even if I was the only judge in the Garden of Allah as back at Braeview Paul Long pointing down the line of penises along the urinal where like the Americans sing in their national anthem the young boys aged tenderly six and upwards were all lined up were all the same ‘from sea to sea/ cee to cee’. All helmets of future soldiers of the army, air force or navy or just another office worker… Some still peeing as they did at home with their shorts pulled down to their ankles as they had learned at home as their mothers and fathers told them to Point Percy at the Porcelain and not make a racket in the middle of the night … I had never seen so many in a row… until later at a Glenelg birthday party for an older neighbourhood boy when I was seventeen and in the twilight darkness of the vegetable garden at ten or eleven in the evening where the father of the birthday boy had helped his son dig a makeshift urinal for the boys to relieve bottles of West End and Southwark… Gay men need only check out their Eagle Boys video catalogue if they want to enjoy the B-Side of such a thing in terms of teenage wanking! I’m not buying/bi-ing today! Maybe tomorrow! I understand they are well directed and quality short porn films. I saw a wank one featuring a parade of cut American boys that belonged to the gay dad of a family friend who used to be editor of The News and kept explicit magazines of men with moustaches putting their dicks into each other… I mean really? This went on?!! The boys in that US video were well paid for performing in that one I’m sure they didn’t mind as long as they didn’t have to take it up the arse! Such are the circle jerks and their ring. The third and only time I saw a helmet only ring. What more? End investigations.

Private Investi-gay-tions/Investigations…. Only a private dick could solve the problems of the ring
Can I pose for you?: Future wanker with his Pa as the afternoon sun heads towards the sea on Port Hughes beach with the sand hills behind – or in front of me – where I would initiate myself with sand by plunging my glans into it as well as using it as a lubricant at fourteen. Oh the dreams I had of making long sessions of love with women…. and satisfying both our desires
From sea to shiny sea…
Walkabout …. and the rest of the world
On the Beach (1959) is a great Australian novel by Neville Shute. My unit block in Surfers Paradise back in 1989 shared my copy as we tanned ourselves one summer during my private investigations. Another idyllic summer. The movie was shot in Melbourne and Ava Gardner didn’t like the place for some reason… Gerald Murnane never left the city for almost his whole life…
And the wind cried…. Jayne, Jayne…. On the Beach by Chris Rea! Remember that day of unforgettable hot 69 in that plush hotel in Brisbane as we forgot ourselves and f*cked as we left the curtains open for the whole world to see? The hottest moment in my sex life and a pretty snapshot in time!! An unforgettable orgasm… Sweet dreams are made of these, sang The Eurythmics… Boy did that girl like my penis!!!!

I didn’t know about sodomy and that sort of thing (I hadn’t even put my finger up my bum and twisted it around!) being commonplace until my father laughed at a preview of Deathtrap (1982) which featured Michael Caine and Christopher Reeves as gay lovers kissing and the line about Caine buying some yogurt at the shop and asking Reeves which type of this delight he preferred: “Any flavour except prune!” which could end in a mess of a spotted dick as my Bradford born father’s laugh revealed about sodomy. He’s since lost his sense of humour my father… maybe it’s returning… My sister saw the movie too and we got picked up from a double header preview of Robot Monster and Plan 9 from Outer Space at half time at the Trak cinema on Greenhill Road to go to the Deathtrap preview. I had to wait for Plan 9…. And saw it in Sydney with Scott at a The Reels concert as it played on the screen behind that great Aussie band… My sister took off her Ugg boots that winter night in the Trak cinema and the stink of her sweaty feet was recycled thorugh the reverse cycle heating of the air conditioning. What a pong! I mean don’t some people have some respect?! Lucky there were only four other people there…. A ring of cinema owners and free tickets to a son of Argo which paid off in terms of the magic lantern in Adelaide.

Actress Mare Winningham (Kevin Bacon’s long-term wife) sings Stephen Foster’s Hard Times from the movie Georgia (1995)
“Any flavour except Prune” : A scene from Deathtrap (1982)
There was some sort of ring which kept me innocent and pure at heart…
With a tattoo on my left shoulder of an eagle which symbolises the influence of American culture as well as peace and freedom … I chose to order Eagle Boys pizza instead!
Avert your eyes!: I had pulling off down to such a fine art by sixteen that I could ‘do it’ for half and hour and when I was about to orgasm pinch it off at the base to avoid coming under the sheets – or on top of them! – I would use something creamy called Skin Food as a lubricant which I used over my body for a moisturiser – as opposed to Burt Reynolds covering his whole body in Vaseline in Striptease (1996) – the object being to hold off a big mess while having the time of my life. When I finally did orgasm I held the base of my penis tightly and pinched the flow of semen back into my bladder…. NO mess and in the morning I would pee this almost silvery mixture of semen and wee which kind of looked like the phosphorus my Pa pointed out to me in the sea which exploded in the night when I cast my crab net from Moonta Bay jetty as a kid. Kid’s don’t try this at home!
Irish writer Robert Tressell ended up in a pauper’s grave
A badge for Robert Tressell
Tressell died in Liverpool. This movie starring Annette Bening is about the love between actress Gloria Grahame and a much younger man as she was dying of cancer.
Not a hope. Letter never sent!! A woman from the north of Italy who saved my life by being a friend when no one else would. She said she saw her first movie in her village as a young child dressed in her Fascist uniform and was frightened by the train as it seemed to leap from the screen at the children. She worked at the Hindley Street cinemas and drove a Vespa as a young woman. A true hearted pioneer…
Actor Bill Murray gives a hug in Lost in Translation (2003)
It’s a gift: Thank you Bill Murray I will never forget you!
Or Tintin in a beret imitates a Celt and goes to Australia where he sees a Yowie!!

I remember one drunken night when Bill Murray’s wife said about sodomy when I belittled a guest who didn’t turn up who had a well-known international 1970s album I had never heard of as he rudely cancelled by phone: “It does go on, you know!” but I still don’t like it … even if she and Bill suggested they would still love me if I did it with a sheep. They just wanted me to be happy, I guess… What was his name again that singer? Bill sent me a gift once of his very own well-worn copy of the novel The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists by Dublin born Irishman Robert Tressell (1870-1911 tuberculosis and pauper’s grave). My friend Bill Murray is not to be confused with his beautiful American doppelganger the comedian Bill Murray who came to Brisbane and sang a most moving repertoire. My sister and I sat near the front and he probably saw the tears fall from my eyes as he sang Stephen Foster’s (1826-64 suicide or fever) Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair… as my eyes welled often throughout his performance. I would later innocently dream one night that Murray hugged me Lost in Translation fashion and again later when our paths crossed in a dream the same night. What a beautiful memory the name Bill Murray conjures up for me… You are Innocent when you Dream, sang Tom Waits in the shower in his excellent concert and music video movie Big Time (1988). Another singing and acting legend worth exploring…

Fragments from the first feature film in the world made in 1906!! Australia be proud!!

“Hey you, don’t piss on the tomatoes” said the birthday boy in the dark as we all relieved ourselves in his Garden of Allah and I then turned my shy organ and kidney’s around slowly like a water sprinkler or hose and revealed a full-blooded six-inch Glenelg hospital cut knob poking from my open Levi jean zipper as I enjoyed the fact for a moment in time that all the boys in the Garden were the same and we were now initiated men as we took that never-ending piss in the moonlight. It was a beautiful moment of celebration for this boy’s 21st … I watched as all the cut boys eyes fixed for a moment at the revelation of the beauty and swelling of my cut knob and its naked coronal ring for that small moment of Turkish Delight and the panorama of it all in a split second in some family’s suburban back yard…  And it showed that Glenelg Community Hospice and related hospices once existed universally in the southern suburbs of Adelaide. Give or take a foreskin or two or three or more!

A song about a brothel or an addiction to brothels. I remember the needle on my record player as a seven year old would stick on the itch of scratch on this 45rpm record… Brothels may be the saviour of those boys experimenting with sex as well as for those who want to have an experience with their best mate with an understanding sex worker – whether your stats match or not!! I hope you have the time of your life to quote a song by Greenday. I’M SURE THAT EVEN BI-CURIOUS gays would be welcomed in pairs also…. to help cure their palsy.

Never would the horrors of The Family penis and Gomco clamp obsessed boy murderers scare or get us even if we would be driven to have sons unable to be given an ‘angel bris’ as I now call mine when it became too dirty or shameful or expensive or ‘politically incorrect’ to do so… Fashion cried David Bowie! Rings and more rings. That boy’s mother wanted it that way along with growing tomatoes in the Mediterranean climate of that city in the south. I noticed that an uncircumcised blonde boy relieved himself alone at that party when the coast was clear… Just like I do now. Carl’s was kind of pretty too when he squealed like a girl one morning as I ripped his doona from his naked body one early Sunday morning. Ta-da… all is revealed!

Yes, I just wanted to show it off to people in the changerooms but a stiffy stopped me since it seemed to be an incurable illness or ‘a very tropical disease or something’ unless you took a quick wank in the corner shower cubicle beside the communal showers in Brighton High School change-room but then it would immediately come back again! Oh, the horror as Marlon Brando said in Apocalypse Now… I remember that I even thought my dick was getting too big at twelve years old and prayed that it wouldn’t get too big when I grew up… Sadly, my prayers were answered!!

Let the Balloon Go (1976) was filmed in Bathurst
Aussie boy Robert Bettles was chosen by Walt Disney. Here he is with Michael Craig who I corresponded with and he would sign the envelope with Esq. after my name – a lovely man who I sent a copy of the film Stanley (1982) on VHS which he had never seen himself in.
Set in Glenelg this movie was about a boy dying of cancer and the three wishes his father grants him. An incredibly sad tear-jerker and John Mellion signed my autograph book soberly at the premiere of Ride a Wild Pony. All us kids got polyester socks which had the movies title on them and toes and feet printed on them. A nod to a life brought up in the wilds and long green grass of South Australia…
Let the Balloon Go…
And don’t get hung up on a white vital statistic…

Someone answer Australia’s prayers and give Gerald Murnane the Nobel as his A Lifetime in the Clouds is a much nicer look at Amazing Grace in terms of not wanking compared to the real man who must fuck and smoke and drink to reach this all too real non-existent status quo as he angrily searches in vain for the meaning of life… There is poetry and meaning to be found everywhere on Earth as you just have to begin to find it first within yourself between bouts of wet dreaming and momentarily writhing in the dark. Lift weights for the rest of your life but it’s not a crime to find beauty in the most unexpected places. Nature is from which we come to which we return as human beings…

We all grow up and eventually Let the Balloon Go (1976) which was a country New South Wales shot – near Bathurst – Aussie movie starring a boy which rings of its Glenelg-set doppelganger made the same year where the classic tear-jerker The Fourth Wish (1976) was set/filmed and whose boy star reminded me of some little blonde and gapped tooth smiling aboriginal boy I used to know in a backyard tent many years ago… Myself! To watch The Fourth Wish as an adult Glenelg boy and the film being about a Glenelg boy kept the ring innocent and there was no perversion in wanting to be on the big screen like that boy was up there, since as a Glenelg boy who no doubt had a penis which was very, very circumcised… Like Greg Rowe in Blue Fin (1978). But back to this star of Let the Balloon Go as well as Greg Rowe, he was living the big screen movie star dream of all boys around Australia and to look back on the Australian Dream it really wasn’t all that bad a deal us being dealt the Garden of Allah!!! I heard Robert Bettles (1962-) became a surfer… Eh, Gulpilil? The Indigenous boys had priapism too, YOU KNOW, as well as initiation and the common sense of a moral compass. Years before the white fella arrived… or ‘came’ to Australia/New Holland as they like to call it… Beware the punk imitation and criminal boy queen Robert Bettles, who presently haunts Bathurst as a reminder that Australia didn’t turn out the way it’s going to be little darling in terms of perfect white foreskins all in a row… and cute little boys named Josh. Loosen up that skin or yours and enjoy yourself…

PS. Then there is the one about the red wine conspiracy and an army of young people with scissors in their heart both circumcidere and non-circumcidere – what’s in aa skeleton? – as they join hands all over and around the world in the name of love to show that everywhere and everyday the sun is rising some place… It’s a red dawn, a new world record to coin an Electric Light Orchestra album title, here comes the son/sun and daughter as everyone sees peace in the smiling eyes of each other in worldwide triumph… It’s just a thought ….Let the fun and games begin!I!I!III!!!III!!!!!IIII!! VVVVVVVVVVVVVV! … And never end.

The parade of flags, many of three colours and others with a moon and the stars… And may the naked and priapic sons of flesh of all nations with their heart shaped glans of the non-circumcidere Garden of Eden and the circumcised Garden of Allah live in peace whether they are initiated or not and let that word be forever on the lips of the peace loving girls and women of all nations… forever anoint the foreskins with olive oil, or honey or saliva and create rings of love wherever you go on your glans as the corona of the sun shines down upon you… You are free to choose love forever

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