Act Three: The Ritual of Wanking to Movies American Style!

*contains spoilers and course strong language not recommended to readers under 15 years of age… Of course I trod in it big time with this three part article which was a three part joke used to defuse the seriousness of the three part article on The Pagans and the Wicker Tree and all that QAnon crap…. Anyway, here it is restored… I don’t know why people can’t take things with a grain of salt or a lot of humour… I thought it was bloody funny and insightful…. This third part of the story of having a penis has ben restored and don’t read it if you are easily offended…. In fact, never read this blog again, although I assure you these articles were only a ‘one off’ … what a fuss about nothing! Do not read if wank and smegma offend!

This article is dedicated to all the boys who are proud to be wankers no matter how long your foreskin is or what colour it is either. The American boys who went to war as tender teenagers and were killed as a result back in World War Two were often circumcised and that went for the white boys who went to Vietnam… The poor black boys of that day often had to get a free circumcision from the army… Even the British Virgin Soldiers who had to fight in the jungle had it done in one day and were sent back to work… Hopefully many of them lost their virginity if they were lucky before they set sail across the seas and were damaged in their minds or outright killed by the experience… They still had to relieve themselves of their priapic stiff willies under their blankets in silence at night as these teenagers who smoked cigarettes with salt peta which is a chemical used to stop erections fought for our freedom… These real boys were brothers in arms who didn’t succumb to buggery in the trenches or between battles, although I’m sure it did happen as the gays fought alongside the straight and the bisexual… people get bored! Some boys never grow up while some men never do either as they are poor and alone and have no other option but to pull their dicks alone in bed, or in the shower, if you can afford the water. A massage is often too expensive and the risk of herpes on the end of your penis is not my idea of an eternally good time…

A part of me is English and always will be…
Pure genius according to Einstein!
My great grandfather was a fisherman…

So here we have it, the typical wank of a typical clean-cut American or Australian boy to the sound of whatever song you want to listen to:

The Wanker: (crashes on his bed naked and then climbs under the blankets so no one can hear him as he goes for it… Those with full foreskins know the flapping sound it can make if you do it too quickly and the covers make a private cover for a private dick having a wank) “Yes, I’ll just lie here and have a wank I tell you as I am left-handed and not yet suffering carpel tunnel syndrome too much. I have learned to use both hands to give pleasure to myself… I’m not as young as I used to be and I’ve given up using a Prince Albert ring (Yes, I had one once) but I can still piss hard enough for the pee not to escape from both holes in my penis… and have it drip on the floor. But I digress as my right hand starts to fondle the well-known glans of my well-worn and polished knob. Did you know that even boys who have cut penises gather a layer of smegma upon their glans overnight which still needs to be polished each day to keep it cleaner than ever forever? I’ve never tasted the stuff although I had a housemate from an Italian family who would parade about naked as he asked me to piss with him together around our share house toilet bowl aged 23 or so… You’d be surprised at the freedom of a share house as I jacked off thinking of myself while there was a poster of Matt Dillon in ‘Tex’ (1982) on the ceiling.

Yes, I lived in a couple of very circumcised neighbourhoods… and thought I was as pretty as Matt Dillon in more ways than one… no shame in that!
Don’t worry, it will still form on the top of your knob if you’re unlucky!
Can you make some smegma for me?
Flannelette shirts were also common in my neighbourhood… Funny about that said a son of Argo

The strange thing is that it wasn’t really him I’d ‘wank’ over since I assumed he was cut … and the poster was really me dreaming I was a movie star. Odd but true. It was me and myself and I which had sex with a box of tissues and I was lucky to be able to bring a couple of girls home to massage their feet and come all over them … Yeah, it was great fun and the Italian guy named Justin would walk around with a faux circumcised look as he had his foreskin pulled back so often it just stayed there… I would take my latest female acquisition through the kitchen to the shower where I’d give her a further thumbs up… They were great days and as I was doing the dishes one day, Justin did the same and deliberately got me back by towing his latest conquest through the kitchen while I did the dishes… The reality is that Justin died possibly of a drug overdose of AIDS and may he rest in peace… I heard he died alone in a hostel and that he “had issues” … He was a great guitarist and I would wake and lie in my bedroom after a morning wank and listen as he played as beautifully as Ry Cooder on his guitar … Memories of a share house where a bunch of young wankers lived once upon a time… But back to smegma and I thought I could ask Justin to make some for me since I never had seen the stuff in large quantities but I just never got round to asking… I only realised later I grew the stuff too even though I’m cut as it can collect under your frenulum too.

There’s no doubt! How many billions of foreskins can’t be wrong!!
Not matter what colour it is or how long it is or how old you are… cut or uncut!
Let’s go over the tip or top like David Mendenhall in the Sylvester Stallone movie…
Even the poorest Eurasian boys are done in the Philippines… Ask me about my circumcision said the boy…
Abraham, stop it or you’ll go blind!

So, I’m lying there fondling my knob and then decide to have a bit of a foreskin wank. Now for a cut boy a foreskin wank is a revelation. Most Garden of Allah cut boys don’t realise the pleasure of the remaining foreskin as they are boys wanking quickly who just go for gold… They seem to think they never had a foreskin at all and just go for gold anyway.

I once got genital warts from a girl who obviously had been a round and who I f*cked in the front seat of my parent’s car one drunken evening on a side road in the Adelaide Hills.

“I want to check you out,” she said as she grabbed my balls in the city’s casino… So we f*cked as she cried out: “You star! You star!” as I thrusted my Aries signed male member just the way she wanted it done… She seemed to be satisfied but I got warts from her … I won’t mention I went home and left a wet spot on the wool seat covers on the passenger side bucket seat of mum’s car… I can only imagine the horror my younger sister had to endure when she got in the next morning to go and play football and sat on this mass of white glue from the night before!!… The stain would haunt me for a couple of years as I drove the car to university… always there as a reminder. Anyway, I saw the local doctor who was the same one that helped give birth to my sister at Glenelg Community and had circumcised many boys in the neighbourhood. He look at my rather sad and none too big penis as it shrank to his touch. “You’ve got genital warts on your foreskin.”

The horror of promiscuity and genital warts…
You’ve heard of love in an elevator… Does your mum’s car have bucket seats?
Ever since I was a kid… Just can’t deny it!

And I thought: “I have a foreskin?” Wow, is that what that is? That piece of brown flesh and so I was given a cure of some salve in a tube and survived to f*ck and wank another day although I stayed away from so-called ‘loose’ women from then on. I should have worn a condom! In retrospect my choice not to use a condom lost a lot of possible f*cks but I don’t like having sex with one.

Back to my foreskin and if you haven’t discovered this other secret of the Garden of Allah among Celts – those Latins with their brown foreskins already know what I’m talking about – but this piece of flesh can be fleshed out into a rather pleasurable feeling if you use your thumb and forefinger slowly and tenderly pinching it. “Be gentle,” as my uncircumcised father told me at six years old. “I prefer to slap it!” says Jack Lemmon in Some Like it Hot.

So, I’m lying there and once more feeling the pleasure of a foreskin wank …. Slowly as my fingers touch and rub only the foreskin below the glans teasing it into becoming pleasurable… Forget the white flesh on me it doesn’t work. But my Celtic/Latin/Middle Eastern cut can be aroused just as well… anytime with a bit of patience.

My penis gets harder and I begin to think of the sexual things that give me pleasure… I start off with thoughts of the poetess and the ultimate moment of hot 69 we had together in a hotel room long ago… There are some moments in your sex life which are unforgettable if you are lucky enough to pursue them with passion!

There’s a tale behind why Rasputin’s large uncut or whatever cock was so popular with the women…
You see he had a wart on his knob which tickled the women’s fancy in just the right way!
There’s nothing like a good succubus either male or female… I mean whatever your into… the poetess gave me such a session one evening that my cock literally doubled in size or length… you see them in porn clips which is why they seem so monstrously long… but it is terribly hard to pee on a night out afterwards… I guess you could hang it out over the urinal… Don’t despair as some enchanted evening yours may get the treatment!
Some Enchanted Evening by the same guys who wrote the Bobby Driscoll related State Fair
Got it on the brain!

We’re in the sixty-nine position and she’s got my cock in her mouth and I’m sucking on her pleasantly tasting vagina like it’s some sort of harmonica as we roll around on the bed together in ecstasy… I have to tell her to stop or I’m going to come and so we slow down and my orgasm doesn’t quite peak at that moment and then we just naturally get faster again as passion grips us and each other in one perfect ball just as nature has intended… I guess ‘gay’ men and women can do the same thing too… There was a scene in the X-Rated version of Caligula set in Rome where back in the day when Christ existed ever second penis was proudly circumcised… And I then think of the scene where a large circumcised penis in that movie is being given a total succubus blow-job by some roman woman at an orgy … Wow, they must have been fun … It was a mouth-watering sight and suddenly I am wanking along to that scene on the television set wishing I had one as big as that but safe in the knowledge that it had a foreskin cut the same length… I could relate to this penis being sucked rather grandly as the woman hands ran up and down and we both came at the same time with intense pleasure… Head jobs all round as they say!

Then I think of Toni Hudson that teenage actress who is really several years older than me in Prime Risk and she has the most angelic blue eyes and blonde hair… “I’d like me some of that” said the black nurse in Regarding Henry starring Harrison Ford… Yeah, how I would have liked her as a girlfriend back in the day… Wank-wank! Wink-wink!

Toni Hudson in Just One of the Guys. Loved her since I was a teen.
I saw the shadow of the sun on the beach at midday cast the shadow of Paul’s penis onto the sand of the deserted beach as he peed and hid his Garden of Allah cut knob from sight… A pure and beautiful image of a treasured friendship and Bromance.

Long ago I thought of my best friend Paul’s rather large locally cut penis which I never saw full frontal except as a shadow on the beach as he turned to urinate… He’d seen mine in the shower on the ski trip there’s no doubt. But ours was a pure friendship ended by me being a bit of a c*nt! Anyway, just like the brothers in arms in the Pacific as they protected Oceania during the last world war… we were brothers who pulled together albeit in different houses as he became’ too real’ for me to keep as a friend to enter his ‘closet’… He hung me up and called me a ‘fruit’ instead …. “Yoo-hoo” I forgive you called out the fag after the real man beat him up in a joke from the lesbian themed Personal Best starring the girlish Mariel Hemingway… Now, her face in your head would be good to wank to as well… Her sister was gorgeous enough to pose for Playboy with only a white shirt… Poor girl!

The thing about the Garden of Allah penis is that even when I pull on it, I can still find it erotic just to think about its shape … I don’t know why… Anyway, the best things in life are free and charity begins at home and so the first thing that gives you pleasure is usually the same thing that gives you pleasure in the end … and that’s my dick as I pull it away endlessly in the night time until it was and is raw… I can still have dirty weekends alone!

‘Just don’t come in my face’ says Jay … or in my mouth as John Turturro says in To Live and Die in LA … or ‘Just don’t piss in my mouth’ as I said to the older kid who woke me one night when I was six years old..
Mariel is as beautiful as a girl with a cut knob
My stoner friend Jeremy as a teenager used to laugh at the little fishes that belonged to Peter O’Toole in this movie. Sadly his English born brother hanged himself at home after a battle with the demons of Ac/Dc and schizophrenia… I know a few who perished as a result of mental illness and this form of dementia.

And as I do pull it, I wonder about the people around me in the units where I live as I go “deep cee fishing” in the night and pull in a whopper … once upon a time as I heard voices around me reeling it in as my hand grasps my foreskin and pulls it over my glans as far as it will go for as long as it will go… It’s heaven on Earth. I glanced down at it once and it looked like it was uncircumcised. I mean talk about blessed! So, I encourage young men or teens who have discovered how good it feels to be dealt the Garden of Eden or Allah (uncut or cut) to not be afraid to practise wanking and instead learn to become men with the sole intent pleasure of ultimately giving pleasure to who will possibly be the love of your life. Should that person enter your life at all. It really doesn’t matter…

And so, the foreskin wank continues as I have to rub the skin like there is a genie inside this thing at my fingertips… All the while the genie in my brain can’t stand it anymore in the dark and I rip the bed clothes off myself and turn on the lamp… My dick is harder than ever again even at an advanced age and the great thing about a Garden of Allah cut is that if it is well done and the skin is the right length, it will look the same from 14 years of age to fifty – talk about forever young! So, All I desire is the pleasure which is happening inside my brain as I stare at the “Love lies Bloodied in my Hand” to quote Elton John and Bernie Taupin … as slowly the foreskin wank comes to a climax…. And it does as the semen squirts a good foot from the hole in my glans… It’s amazing what drinking spring water can do! I nearly put an eye out at fourteen but it still goes off like a rocket using only the foreskin.

Evocative song by Rocket Man Elton John and his collaborator Bernie Taupin
The boys in Western Australia were very circumcised where Heath Ledger grew up…
And I was the Donnie Darko of my high school… Kind of cool, eh!

So, I’d occasionally wank to tasteful porn on my phone. I refused to watch gay porn due to the fact I’d been there and done that and all you get is to come and nothing more… I made a vow many years ago. I would instead pull my dick to women giving head to cut knobs just like mine while occasionally watching orgies posted from Europe and Russia of uncut men in bars with bars as women ran freely and blew every one of them… I got off on that too! How lucky were they? But as for child porn and violence against women that is wrong and I hope those that seek that stuff on the internet are now cut off and locked in their closets … waiting for a knock on the door! Along with the bad ‘Suspiria’ girls and the bad Qanon trained wizard types who caused lonely people to suffer endless mental illness.

The best black porn I ever saw was a black American man who was named Jason and he was built like I was once built and he made love like I wished I could … before they dealt me my addictions and I was stigmatised and unable to afford a relationship… not that any girl would have me…. So, I wank! The black Jason wank was great. Perfect harmony. Zen.

Talk about a mainstream porn movie! the actors and actresses are actually having sex in the uncut version of this movie and I always feel for Charlotte Gainsborough… how she suffered for her art!
OMG! Claudia Karvan!! My live-in girlfriend and I had a vibrator we nicknamed after her… I’d wake up naked in bed to find my uncut stepson casually talking to his mum as my shrunken member looked like a cut version of the Sistine Chapel… Families don’t hide their vital statistics…And as a kid in a caravan park in Sunshine in Melbourne my uncut father would run a hot bath in a cubicle and I’d sit in his lap in the deep water quite naturally together at eight years old… Such was the Garden of Allah… Everything became so shameful for some reason…
There’s nothing like the front row of Cinema Paradiso…
The longest kiss I ever had was with a girl called Tamara in the car park of old Lang Park after all the fools had left the game… It seemed to last for hours with our tongues in the dark in the back seat of a car forever mingling and our mouths forever locked… The best kiss of my life!
While I was seeing Tamara, I was having a Bromance with an Irish/Chinese university friend named Patrick… We saw this band together in concert for the tour of this album and we stood and clapped in Festival Hall like the revival of love meeting it was… Thanks Patrick for not spearing me with your enormous cut penis! I’m forever grateful!

Then I had my final fling with porn some time ago when a guy was getting a blow job and who was built like me and there was that first person shot of me watching myself come in terms of the camera… Except this guy was probably Jewish since his bris was short and there was only a little bit of foreskin leftover. I was satisfied and after that I didn’t need porn at all… maybe I’ll go back to it … But I am grateful for that extra bit of foreskin I have been given and how much pleasure it has given me over the years as I still explore new avenues of thought as I wank… Whether it is fully clothed and stroking it in front of pagan women as they worship nature on the telly like an Italian boy in the front row of Cinema Paradiso… Oil yourself well with olive oil and that piece of olive skin can give pleasure even through your clothes … for a moment… but don’t get carried away in public as a child might be watching… I remember one girlfriend who like to give me blowjobs while the car was stuck in traffic and one day I looked up and could see someone peering from above into the car… It wasn’t a child thank God!

Terrence and Phillip never get laid for some reason…
Christ! What’s wrong with us?
Even I could tell you how to do it… I mean come on!! Let your arsehole be tighter!
The very same poster many wads ago!!

This girlfriend was part of the mystery of the female orgasm for me as she could come multiple times and all at once. Lucky Girl! Some girls just can’t come easily with a man and prefer to spend time with a woman while there are women who orgasm simply from a touch on their bare skin anywhere on their bodies… Such is the organ of the skin in both men and women… Wouldn’t that be great to come by simply being touched with a finger… Today the local Catholic outreach radio station said all ‘QAnon’ will end up in bed with is with an old cut knob belonging to a boy who starred in The Big Steal with my other lifelong crush Claudia Karvan. They continue to be just as anti-Semitic as always… as the ‘faux’ and hypocrite Catholics still can’t help themselves. Well, surprise, little white ‘phim’ boys who are still 12 years old in their own minds, my cut looks just as tight as it was at fourteen while yours needs a bit of stretching rather than acting like Terence and Philip with their Cheesy Puffs on South Park…  I don’t like your kind as you continue to act superior and in a dirty way in public too while using religion as some sort of undercover and shady real estate business! It’s called a wank! I hope your ratings go down and/as you call yourself a Christian radio station, he sniggered! … Once more the Christians have got it all wrong on the Sistine Chapel ceiling! Thank God for a wad hitting my Jaws 2 poster on my own private Sistine Chapel bedroom ceiling and voila… L’Ultimo Squalo was filmed! Better than being the Pope! There I feel better now I have orgasmed!!

When Irish eyes are smiling altogether against a stone wall in Angela’s Ashes
Boys prepare for Initiation in Vanuatu.. as I finish in a flurry of cut foreskins!
Yes! and in Madagascar they’ve got the highest rate in the world!
A proud Muslim family… join in on the fun!
Three boys in a poor fishing village in Cambodia line up and don’t mind the inititiation!
Yes! Unmolested boy scouts take a skinny dip in South Australia in the 1950s
And that’s about it as I don’t think there is anything more I can tell you!!
The genie of the lamp in The Garden of Allah is now released forever…
Un-Like Mine If You Want!: And now here is a gratuitous photo of an uncircumcised baby with a yellow foreskin… I have seen one of Bart Simpson when he was older in The Simpson Movie and it looks like a cut off sausage! How crass I am!! Poor Bart Simpson who ended up alone with no friends just like me and a sister who really didn’t like him!! Maggie Liu/you are the hope ‘of’ and for/e the future.

The touch of God and the organ of the skin of both sexes is within ourselves and it is an integral part of ourselves which works as the human body does with the cooperation of the genie in the brain. The soul may reside away from our heart where the soul has also. Perhaps there are two souls which inhabit us – one male and one female or yin and yang or whatever… All human beings should enjoy sex in whatever shape and form … and for as long as they can! Juices still flow in old women in their mid-70s… I know I’ve felt them too! But that’s another story… Wherever an orgasm happens it feels good. And so does f*cking!

No, I won’t screw an animal, although I heard a local woman got fined $400 for putting peanut butter on her vagina and let her dog lick it off in a text message… Whatever gets you through the night and day! … What a perfect day for a wank! What would you prefer? Foreskin, clitoris or/and glans? Cue a Lou Reed song from the album Transformer…)

And there we end this series of three articles which I have written this week as I don’t lie around all day tugging my dong but am quite an intelligent person at times… NO MORE WAR… peace and love forever for the children and a future that everyone can aspire towards… signed Q… and of course no mutilation necessary!


  1. Fiona


  2. David Rayner

    I’ve always been against the totally unnecessary sexual mutilation of infant boys. Thankfully, as an English boy, I wasn’t ruined in that way over 74 years ago. I remember seeing young boys naked in the school showers after P.E. and none of them had been cut like that. They all looked natural. When I first saw a boy who’d been cut (not at school, I may add), I was horrified!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.